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Here’s Latina hottie Sofia Vergara showing off some nice cleavage at the Lakers game the other night. I know there are a bunch of jokes about dribbling or palming her sweet basketballs but I’m not going to stoop to that level. Sofia deserves better than that, she’s a classy, talented, intelligent woman and should be treated as such. That being said, I would like to drive to that hole like I was Wilt Chamberlain in the sixties. Enjoy.

My big brain knows that these are wholesome pictures of Salma Hayek reading to children or something at some press conference for Nickelodeon’s ‘Dora The Explorer’ 10th Anniversary , but all my little brain sees are those big fat MILF boobies. Is that wrong? Am I a terrible person for this? I didn’t think so, look at those beautiful things, I would like to spend ten years doing some exploring of my own… In her boobs. In case you didn’t figure that out. more pictures of Salma Hayek here

Here’s supermodel Marisa Miller doing her thing in Vegas magazine. This woman is pure perfection. Obviously she’s a supermodel so it’s not hard for her to look good but this sh#t is ridiculous, maybe it’s because she’s wearing a wig and it makes me think she’s in disguise and up to no good. I would like her to be up to no good with me in my mother’s basement, I’m not supposed to have girls over so it will be even more dangerous and thrilling. Call me, I’ll leave a window open.

I don’t know why I keep posting pictures of Playboy playmate Jayde Nicole . Actually that’s not true, I know exactly why I post pictures of her, because she’s got nice set of big boobs and she tends to dress in outfit’s you’d commonly associate with sluts from the eighties. The other day she was out in an old school Madonna inspired slutty lingerie combo and now she’s in some strategically torn leggings on her way to some douche club… Take me with you princess.

Here’s hipster dufus Katy Perry doing her hipster dufus thing for a photo spread for Nylon magazine. This is starting to get old. I think we’re done with this ‘Nouveau Eighties’ look, it’s not hot, especially when you consider that Katy’s got some nice big boobs hidden somewhere in this mess. She needs to get nominated for some fancy award she has no business winning, then maybe she’ll dress like an adult and we’ll get to see her sweet classy cleavage again.

I don’t think I have to tell you folks just how absolutely gorgeous Blake Lively is, if she wasn’t always working so hard or hanging out in her bikini with some co-star douche or ignoring all my twitter advances and inappropriate twitpics or pretending I don’t exist all together, I think our relationship would be much stronger. I don’t really care, I know that every relationship takes work and I’m not afraid to put in the time and effort to make this thing work… Even if I’m not allowed within 200 feet of her.

I know that Kim Kardashian is best known for her absurdly large posterior, it looks like two midgets hitching a ride in her spandex, but her boobs often get over looked. Here she is giving us a nice reminder that she’s not just a big ass , she’s also very talented when it comes to the chesticular arts. I actually received my bachelor’s degree in chesticular arts from correspondents school so I know what I’m talking about. Enjoy.

I think this is the first photoshoot I’ve ever seen of Sophie Monk . I believe it’s for Cosmo. I wish a male magazines would get in on the Sophie Monk action, she’s perfect for something like Maxim or Hustler . I’ve been trying to land her for sometime but it seems that she’s not into working for free or working at all period. OK, I never tried to reach her, but she knows where to find me if she wants some career advice. I’d be glad to help.

Here’s Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole out on the town looking good in her nice little lingerie. One of the many things I love about Playboy chicks is that they always seem to need attention and will do pretty much anything to get it. They never do anything worthwhile like cure cancer or eat three dozen hard boiled eggs, they normally just wear some sort of slutty get up that really accentuates their big fake boobies. God bless ‘em.

Other than the fact that she’s Colin Farrell’s girlfriend and the mother of his child I don’t know much about this Alicja Bachleda chick. That’s not entirely true, I know she looks pretty damn good in a bikini and that she’s got a nice pair of juicy lemons I would like to squeeze a few times be for falling asleep tonight. Enjoy.