Lady Gaga Is Celibate Now

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

The freakishly weird singer Lady Gaga has retorted against the rumors that she’s a hermaphrodite. Even after that, it was rumored that she stole some chick’s boyfriend, but she wants to clear the air. With or without the extra male parts, Gaga wants us all to know that she is not bangin’ anyone’s man. Actually she’s single and celibate. She said, “I’m single. I haven’t got time to spend on the road to get to know anyone. Even Lady Gaga can be celibate, you don’t have to have sex to be loved.” Has Gaga been having some bad sex, because I know a few guys that could fix that for her. She added, “Orgasms are the biggest obstacles for women. Sex should be fun, beautiful and colorful but women get the short end of the stick. We’re just receivers. We can’t talk about sex, we can’t sing about sex.” She is crazy, but this black lace getup she’s wearing is doing it for me.

My on-again, off-again Apple relationship

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Filed under: Cult of Mac , Apple With TUAW’s Your First Apple series, we let you get a glimpse of our own histories with the Mac. My own history with Apple’s computers has been a bit convoluted. The first Apple computer, in fact the first computer of any kind I remember using, was an Apple II+. I was in kindergarten in Saudi Arabia at the time, so I don’t really remember much about those early experiences. Like many people of my generation, when I returned to the US I went to schools that had computer labs crammed full of Apple IIe computers. Of course, the only programs that were ever run on my elementary school’s Apples were marginally “educational” games like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, Odell Lake, and the massively popular Oregon Trail. Meanwhile, my family had a KayPro PC at home, which meant my dad had to teach an eight-year-old kid how to navigate through the amber-lettered jungles of DOS — something I’m glad I’ll never have to do with my own kids. The Apple IIe was the only computer I used in school through 1990. I spent most of seventh grade cooking up little text-based adventure games in BASIC, and I even learned some rudimentary drawing and audio programming, all of which I forgot long ago. In mid-1990, the school revamped our computer lab with brand-new Macintosh Classics: the first Mac I ever used, the first machine I used that had a hard drive, and the first time I ever used a GUI to interact with a computer. Oddly enough, despite the huge leap in capabilities the Mac Classic had over the Apple IIe, we spent half of eighth grade using the Mac to learn how to type. I guess I should be thankful I learned to touch-type way back then, but spending several months on typing tutor software was a hard sell after spending the previous year doing actual programming . After that first year with the Mac, my experiences with Apple’s computers went through some rollercoaster-like ups and downs. Click “read more” to find out why. Some time in the early 90’s, my dad dumped his KayPro for a custom-built, unbranded, 386-based PC running Windows 3.11, which I inherited from him after he upgraded yet again. It was the first computer I had all to myself. After learning my way around the Mac’s interface, learning Windows 3.11 took all of five minutes. The PC also had color graphics, which was a definite improvement over the black-and-white Mac Classics at school. I didn’t get much actual work done on the PC, though, because nothing I produced on it was compatible with my high school’s Macs; I mostly used the PC for games. My high school actually had two computer labs: one full of state-of-the-art Macs for basic computer training and programming, and one full of ancient, DOS-running IBM PCs used for business-related classes. I spent ninth and tenth grade learning how to program in HyperCard, which I used to create a couple of graphic adventure games complete with an X-Y navigation system that took quite a while to code properly. One program I developed in tenth grade on the Mac LC III was an Aliens vs. Predator adventure game, with graphics taken straight from the Dark Horse comic series and audio from both the Aliens and Predator films. I also created a HyperCard-based trojan to mess with the other kids in the lab. It was basically just a HyperCard stack that, once launched, would auto-generate new cards until the RAM filled up and the Mac crashed. High school was a high point in my experiences with Macs, but for the rest of the 90s and the first few years of the 2000s, it was all downhill. Once I got out of high school, my long relationship with the Mac went on an extended hiatus. After joining the Navy in 1995 I hardly used computers of any kind for several years, to say nothing of Macs or the Internet. For almost four years I barely touched a PC for anything other than playing video games. Macs didn’t register on my radar at all, and the few times I came across one, I had the same reaction that a lot of today’s Mac haters still have: “For as much as they’re charging, I can’t even get any decent games for this thing?” In late 1999 I finally started using the internet on a regular basis via a 56k dialup connection through my roommate’s ancient and thoroughly crappy Performa. I don’t know which model Performa it was or even what OS it was using — it was either OS 8 or System 7 — but I was not impressed with that machine at all. When my roommate offered to give me that Mac in exchange for me paying his part of the rent for a couple months, I turned him down, because I hated almost everything about that Performa. When I moved in with my girlfriend of the time, she had two computers: some anonymous box from HP running Windows 98, and an iMac with OS 9. Since the iMac didn’t have any games for it, wasn’t compatible with our cable modem, and had that horrible piece of garbage hockey puck mouse, I wouldn’t go near the thing. I preferentially veered toward the HP machine for everything I did. From mid-2000 to early 2003 I once again barely even saw or used a Mac except for the handful of times I visited a Mac zealot friend of mine who lived in Seattle. I inherited yet another ancient computer from another friend of mine for my home use, one even older and less capable than the Performa: some Gateway box running Windows 95. Unable to even hook that machine up to the internet or run 3D games of any kind, the Gateway saw little use for the two years I had it. After almost ten years of using computers solely for internet access and the occasional bit of gaming, I’d become sort of a luddite. Beyond basic word processing and web browsing, I really had no clue how to use a computer anymore. I ended up becoming a Mac switcher in early 2003, completely against my will, when I moved in with my wife. She had a dual 1GHz G4 Power Mac running OS X, and for the first couple of months using it, I had no idea what I was doing. I think my ignorance showed through enough that my wife got paranoid of letting me use her Mac at all. I eventually got the hang of it, but it was a painful process; I insisted on using Internet Explorer, stayed well clear of OS updates, and didn’t even attempt to do anything out of the ordinary with her Mac. It was only after buying a used PowerBook G3 off of eBay for $200 that I really started figuring the Mac out. In the process of upgrading the processor to a G4, upping the RAM, swapping out the hard drive, and hacking the thing to run OS X Panther and Tiger (the model of PowerBook I bought was supposed to max out at Jaguar), I quickly gained an appreciation for the ins and outs of OS X. In the process, I reached the point where I flat-out refused to use Windows unless I absolutely had to for some reason. Within the space of a year, I also went from being completely ignorant about computers to being free tech support for all my friends; and for the few of them still using Windows, my first bit of tech advice is almost always to stop using Windows . OS X may or may not be inherently “better” than Windows, but over the past several years I’ve figured out that I only get the urge to throw my Mac out the window once or twice a month versus once every five minutes with the average Windows box. My wife upgraded to a MacBook in 2007, so I inherited her Power Mac — just in time, as it turned out, because even after all its upgrades, my PowerBook was definitely showing its age, particularly in the way it liked to chew through hard drives. In February of 2008 I bought the 17″ MacBook Pro I’m still using today — the first brand-new computer I’ve ever owned. It’s been a long, weird ride — BASIC programming, typing tutors, HyperCard programming, then close to ten years of neo-Ludditism — to where I am now, in a house full of Apple-branded gadgets, most of which would have sounded like science fiction when I sat down in front of a Mac Classic for the first time twenty years ago. TUAW My on-again, off-again Apple relationship originally appeared on The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW) on Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds . Read

Ashton Kutcher And Jamie Foxx Will Buddy Up As Cops For ‘Streets On Fire’

Friday, February 26th, 2010

” Cop Out ” hits theaters today, the first high-profile example of a buddy cop movie that we’ve seen in quite some time. What good timing then that we learn of another mixed race law enforcement pairing that’s currently in the offing. The word from Pajiba tipster Hollywood Cog is that Ashton Kutcher and Jamie Foxx will team up to keep their city safe in buddy cop “action-comedy-drama” flick, ” Streets on Fire .” It seems that nothing is confirmed yet, beyond the fact that Kutcher’s Katalyst Films will produce. The “Punk’d” star is eying the lead and Foxx for his co-lead. The 2009 Black List script — Black List being a list of top unproduced scripts for the year — comes from Justin Britt-Gibson, a newcomer whose top Google search item is a Washington Post story on race relations. Perhaps “Streets” won’t follow the same old buddy formula of running through the usual stereotypes until the bad guys go boom. The story, set in Chicago, follows the two cops — one a by-the-book boy scout who needs some anger management lessons (Foxx), the other an arrogant loose cannon (Kutcher) — as they take on the city’s drug underworld. Their unwanted pairing turns into a more amicable relationship after they realize that the group they’re pursuing are supported by crooked police. It sounds rote, but these things always do on paper. “Streets” will inevitably live or die based on the power of the writing and the performances which bring that writing to life. And before you start complaining that we’ve seen buddy cop movies many times before, at least take heart in the fact that this isn’t a remake. Do Kutcher and Foxx make a good pairing? What is your favorite buddy cop flick?

Fergie’s Booty Live!

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

I don’t normally put performance pictures up on the site, but I like Fergie’s booty so why not. Besides, a few ass shaking pics never hurt anyone. Here she is at one of The Black Eyed Peas concerts probably in the middle of signing one of their more annoying songs, take your pick which one, but she’s wearing her space age prostitute outfit which I find pretty hot. I like the idea of prostitutes in zero gravity. Enjoy.

The State of Mobile App Stores Summarized in Charts

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Mobile app analytics company Distimo has compiled their findings on the six largest mobile app stores offered by Apple, Palm, Research In Motion, Google, Nokia and Microsoft. Distimo presented its findings about app store size, growth, average price and free-versus-paid-app ratio at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, Spain last week. For quantity of apps, the results aren’t surprising: It’s common knowledge that Apple’s App Store and Google’s Android Market are in the lead. More interesting is the lesser-known state of the smaller players. Windows Mobile has 690 apps, Palm has 1,450, Nokia carries 6,120 and BlackBerry serves 4,760. (Figures are all rounded.) Distimo also analyzed growth rate of the stores. Android is in a distant second with 19,300 apps compared with Apple’s 151,000 apps. However, Android’s growth rate is faster relative to the number of apps housed. Android’s growth is picking up with 3,000 new apps per month (15 percent). Apple is growing with about 14,000 new apps added per month (9 percent). As for the average cost of apps in each store, RIM’s apps were the priciest at an average of $8.26 for apps, followed closely by Windows Mobile’s, priced at $7 on average. Apps sold by Nokia, Apple, Google and Palm all came out in roughly the same average price range ($2.50 – $3.60). Other observations? Android has the most free apps, and for the iTunes App Store, games were the most popular category. A full summary and more charts of Distimo’s presentation are available at ReadWriteWeb , which first reported the story. See Also: For the iPhone’s App Store, Quantity Really Does Matter Apple’s App Store Hits Six Digits; How Many Apps Do You Need …

Gowalla Gets An Early Native Android App. Prettier, More Social Than iPhone Version.

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

In November of last year, Gowalla finally extended its reach beyond its iPhone app with a version of its app that worked on the mobile web for Android (and the iPhone’s Safari browser). It was a pretty good web app but had some limitations, which founder Josh Williams accepted because his team was at work on a native app for Android as well. That wait is over. While it’s not yet in the Android Market, Gowalla has released a very early beta version of the native Android app to its most dedicated users that patrol the company’s Get Satisfaction page. Williams posted about the new app a few days ago, and noted that “ Technically, we are calling this beta release 0.1. We will release a more fully featured beta to the Marketplace before the end of the month .” Since it’s not in the Market yet, you can only get the app by visiting this static link — or by using your Android camera to scan one of the bar codes you can find in that Get Satisfaction thread. Note : To install the app, you have to have your device set up for the installation of “non-Market applications”. This site runs through how to do that , but basically you go to Menu -> Settings -> Applications, then check the “Unknown sources” checkbox. So how is the app compared to its iPhone brother? Well, surprisingly, in some ways I think it might already be better. While, as Williams, notes, it is currently missing the Trips feature , and it’s not doing any image caching, the 0.1 build of Gowalla for Android is slick and lightweight. As you’ll notice right away, the app has a distinctly different look because it has ditched the iPhone’s green hues for a cleaner, white look. I can’t tell you how many Gowalla users I’ve talked to that hate the green look of the iPhone app and would like a way to change it (I’m included in that list). More importantly, the Android version of Gowalla flips the features of the service so that your friend check-in stream is now the first tab. This makes the Android version more social right off the bat than the iPhone version, which buries that information in the last tab. Gowalla’s Android launch is timely as the SXSW conference is less than a month away. Last year, both Gowalla and rival Foursquare launched their iPhone apps at the conference, with Foursquare able to take an early lead over the past year. Foursquare now has apps for all the major mobile OSes except for Symbiam. Meanwhile, Gowalla is also close to launching a BlackBerry app . Game on. Check out some early screenshots below. [thanks Wes ] CrunchBase Information Gowalla Android Information provided by CrunchBase

AnnaLynne McCord Cleavage Sneak Peek

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Here’s AnnaLynne McCord on the black carpet for a special screening of Shutter Island giving us a nice peek at her little cleavage. I’m not a big fan of this Matrix pant suit she’s got on but boobs are boobs. I don’t discriminate. At least she’s not blowing kisses to the camera. Oh wait, of course she f@#king is!!!! I think she’s doing it on purpose now because she knows it drives me insane. The only good thing about it is that when she does it she squeezes her boobs together. Always look for a silver lining.

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Black Dynamite’ Star Michael Jai White Credits Jim Brown As His Inspiration In This DVD Extra

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

We tried really hard to find you a clip from ” Black Dynamite ” to share here on the blog, but there’s really nothing that could get through standards. In other words: this is not a movie for kids. What it is is one of the funniest films of 2009, a personal Sundance favorite of mine and one of the sharpest genre parodies the industry has seen in quite some time. In this extra, we see co-writer/star Michael Jai White and writer/director Scott Sanders discussing the film’s blaxploitation roots. White specifically references era superstar Jim Brown as one of his personal inspirations for the Black Dynamite character. Seriously… see this movie now . You can thank me later.

LOST: Episode 6.04, ‘The Substitute’

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Editor’s note: Josh is out of town this week, so I’ll be covering the recap. Don’t worry– he’ll be back next week with the same insightful commentary and didn’t-see-’em-coming theories. Episode Title: “The Substitute” Written by: Elizabeth Sarnoff & Melinda Hsu Taylor Story: The focus this week is Locke, and hallelujah for that. On the island, Fake Locke — Flocke –seeks recruits for some purpose… which is actually made clear by the end of the episode! More than that, a great big question-raising bomb drops in the final minutes, with half-revelations which are sure to send “Lost” theorists into raving hysterics. Meanwhile, in the parallel reality, Locke is back from Australia to his quiet life with fiancee Helen (Katey Sagal). Some questions at work arise regarding his trip to Australia, leading to an unfortunate turn of events. The resulting chain of events leads to some surprising encounters, with an Oceanic 815 passenger and… another familiar face. Very familiar. Those Who Can’t Do: The familiar face turns out to be none other than Ben Linus. Locke loses his job early on, which leads to a fortuitous chance encounter with Hurley. Sorry, that’s Hugo Reyes. Parallel Hurls is cleaned up, with his hair tied back and a black blazer to accompany his jeans. Always the good egg, Hugo helps Locke out with a job: school substitute. And that’s where Ben pops up. The frequently diabolical/currently contrite mastermind is a history teacher without his island followers around to hold him up. And he’s kind of a jerk too. Looked Better In Chains: Oh how the surprisingly knowledgeable and prescient have fallen. Poor Richard Alpert is in a bad state when we see him, dangling from a tree in some trap that Flocke has devised and still looking pretty beaten after his last encounter with the former Man in Black. He pops up later to give some timely advice to Sawyer or James or whatever you care to call him. Richard continues to be an enigma; he seemed to be the guy with all the knowhow, but now he’s just another bruised and dirty sap, like everyone else who populates the island. What’s In A Name?: Flocke finds Sawyer and brings him along to a cave set into the side of a cliff. Inside is a scale balanced between a black rock and a white rock — an “inside joke,” Flocke says — and a collection of names and numbers scrawled all over the walls. Just about all of them are crossed out; everyone except Locke, Reyes, Ford… I think you see where this is going. What’s more, each name is paired with a number. You might recognize them. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. In a series of cutaways, we see each name/number combo being paired with the associated character’s real-world encounter with Jacob in the previous season’s finale. Quote of the Evening: “Jacob had a thing for numbers.” -Flocke, responding to Sawyer’s question about why each name is paired with a number. Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!: The Locke/Flocke back-and-forth this evening is peppered with parallels. We get a lot of insight into the Man in Black and what he’s after. His chat with Sawyer in the cave leads to a stunning admission (if it’s true, of course): Sawyer is essentially the next Jacob. He can do nothing, he can assume his role as Flocke’s “Other” or he can get onboard with Flocke’s plan… to just leave. Flocke wants out, and — as we learn before the credits roll — Sawyer does too. “The time for questions is over.”: That quote comes from the “next week on ‘Lost’” bump at the end of the episode. And it looks like it’s going to turn out to be a big, fat, lying lie. We’re leaving F/Locke and company behind next week to presumably see the Sun/Jin reunion. Sure, it looks like we’ll also find out some more about Claire. But… the numbers! New Jacob! Wtf?!?!

Winter Olympics, The Captured Taliban Leader And Kevin Smith’s Southwest Ordeal In Today’s Twitter-Wood

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

The Winter Olympics have been entertaining plenty of Twitter-Wood citizens this week, but they’ve also been interfering with Seth Meyers ‘ ability to understand who the captured Taliban leader Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar is. Furthermore, they’ll be going up against ” Lost ” on Tuesday night, but Damon Lindelof officially shrugged off the competition yesterday. As for Kevin Smith’s public Twitter tussle with Southwest Airlines over the weekend, plenty of his fellow tweeters have stepped up in support, including film critic Roger Ebert . You can check out Ebert’s photo evidence, a comparison of ” Twilight ” to “Splash” and what actor Justin Chon looks like following cardio exercises after the jump. I’m @brianwarmoth , and this is Twitter-Wood for February 16, 2010. Twitter Pic of the Day: @BrettRatner At Palladium 80’s w/ @nilerodgers, @julieannerhodes, @nickrhodes from @duranduran http://tweetphoto.com/11584783 -Brett Ratner, Director (“Rush Hour,” “X-Men: The Last Stand”) @sethmeyers21 Been at Olympics too long. Was told Taliban #2 was captured and in head thought, “Wow, they caught the Taliban silver medalist.” -Seth Meyers, Actor (“Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” “Saturday Night Live”) @DamonLindelof Male Figure Skating against LOST Tuesday night. But can Johnny Weir turn into BLACK SMOKE?!? Oh wait. He can? Forget it. -Damon Lindelof, Writer/Producer (“Star Trek,” “Lost”) @ebertchicago http://twitpic.com/13iw1j – Kevin Smith poolside at Cannes 1999 with “Dogma.” You call this fat? I say svelte. Photo by moi. -Roger Ebert, Critic/Writer (“Beyond the Valley of the Dolls,” “Up!”) @pennjillette MTV “Cribs” is done. I showed them around for 2 hours and then they shot beauty shots for another 6 hours. It’ll look cool to live here. -Penn Jillete, Actor (“Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” “Penn & Teller Get Killed”) @justinchon http://twitpic.com/13jwdp – wow all that cardio makes me look skinny…i guess i have to eat more ice cream…yayyy!!! -Justin Chon, Actor (“Twilight,” “Eclipse”) @Jon_Favreau Iron Man 2 begins its final sound mix tomorrow. Can’t wait to see what Skywalker Sound has up their sleeve. -Jon Favreau, Writer/Actor/Director (“Elf,” “Iron Man”) @BrianLynch TWILIGHT is kinda like SPLASH except instead of a mermaid it’s a vampire, and Bella is really funny and a guy, and it’s not good. -Brian Lynch, Writer/Director (“Puss in Boots,” “Big Helium Dog”) Don’t forget to follow @MTVMoviesBlog on Twitter for all the latest updates and colorful commentary from the world of movies.