With Bong Joon-Ho’s much acclaimed thriller Mother hitting US theaters Friday – i.e. in four hours – we have just been passed an exclusive clip from the film. What we get her is a clip of the title character in investigative mode, trying to prove her son’s innocence. How much do I love that she has no problems breaking into someone else’s home but still has enough manners to take off her shoes before entering?
Is it crazy to say ” 2012 ” — a film about the fire- and tsunami-strewn obliteration of planet Earth as we know it — was one of the most fun theatrical experiences of the year? The audience at the screening I caught in mid-February was hooting and hollering at each successive catastrophe , gleefully ignoring the cataclysmic loss of life because the whole thing was just so darn fun. Was it kinda silly? Sure. But chuck away any sense of realism and it was an amazing big screen spectacle that had to make you smile. The rest of the world certainly agreed . Director Roland Emmerich’s disaster-film-to-end-all-disaster-films grossed almost $770 million worldwide. With the “2012″ DVD arriving in stores on Tuesday (March 2), Emmerich gave MTV News a call to chat about the challenges of CGI filmmaking, an alternate ending he almost inserted in the final cut and the kooky conspiracy theorists he met while promoting the film. MTV News: There were so many huge CGI set-pieces in the film. Is there one that you’re particularly proud of or that took the most work to pull off? Roland Emmerich: The most fun was the earthquake scene, because it was the most complex. Or maybe because I live in Los Angeles and I’m always afraid of earthquakes. MTV News: You mean the scene in the beginning, when John Cusack is driving his family through LA in a limo while the entire city basically disintegrates around them? Emmerich: Yeah, we shot with nothing there but the limo. And when you think about that — that everything was completely created — it was quite impressive. At first we wanted to shoot stuff in real and we realized pretty fast that in an earthquake everything is buckling, everything is cracking and you really can’t use any real things. We had to build everything in the computer and put it together. MTV News: Did you look at footage from actual earthquakes? Emmerich: We did, but there is not much there. There is some footage from video surveillance cameras, but it’s rare. What you can see is the aftermath and then you imagine what happened. MTV News: Have you put any cool deleted scenes onto the DVD? Emmerich: There is very little in this movie that was cut out. We have an alternative ending, which is quite interesting. Two characters who die in the final cut are actually alive. The two jazz musicians survived. At the end you see their cruise ship on top of a mountain. For us it was always a Noah’s Ark symbol. But it didn’t work because it put everything in question. Why did we have to build these huge ships to rescue hundreds of thousands of people in the first place? And anyway, the ending felt kind of long. It went on and on and on, and when we took that ending out, it was all of a sudden streamlined. MTV News: You traveled all over the world promoting the film. Did you have some wacky interactions with 2012 conspiracy theorists? Emmerich: Oh yeah, they’re everywhere. It’s quite funny. I always said I don’t believe in aliens even though I did “Independence Day.” In the same way, I have the same attitude toward 2012. It’s an interesting theory, maybe it will happen and maybe not, but no one can say what really will happen. But some people really believe and they come up to you and either they’re really pissed they say, “This shouldn’t be a disaster, it’s a new rise of human consciousness” or they’re like, “You’re so right, this is going to happen,” and they tell you where to go to escape it. They say, “You should be very thankful!”
Ensemble comedies are awesome. Especially when they boast a cast like the one coming together for ” Bad Teacher .” The comedy comes from “Walk Hard” director Jake Kasdan working off of a script from the powerhouse “Office” (and “Ghostbusters III”) writing duo of Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. We also know that Cameron Diaz , Jason Segel and Lucy Punch, star of CBS’ “The Class,” will headline. Today, Sony revealed that a few more have joined the cast. Justin Timberlake , who will also star in Facebook biopic ” The Social Network ,” is the big get; he’ll star alongside Diaz, Segel and Punch. Also joining the cast are “Saturday Night Live” alum Molly Shannon and “Modern Family” star Eric Stonestreet. We don’t know a whole lot about the story just yet. Diaz leads the cast as the titular lousy junior high teacher, a crass woman who has just been dumped by a man she’d come to depend on… financially. Now free to pursue other romantic interests, she sets her sights on a fellow teacher, which pits her against another teacher, a more popular one. There’s no word on Shannon’s or Stonestreet’s role, but Timberlake will play a substitute who stands to one day inherit his family’s watch fortune. Diaz and Timberlake should make for an interesting on-screen pairing, since the two used to be romantically involved in real life. One wonders if Kasdan and company will play with that history in the film, and how Timberlake’s character will factor into the love triangle that will presumably involve Diaz, Segel and Punch. If Diaz’s character is in fact a gold-digger, maybe she’s fated to end up with Timberlake’s sub anyway. One thing is certain: we have plenty of time to wonder. At last report, “Bad Teacher” was targeted for a 2012 release. Do you like this casting news? Do you hope to see some reference made to Timberlake’s and Diaz’s shared history?
Oh, Bey. That’s just not fair. With The Blood Bond – the debut feature from Bey Logan’s start up production house B&E Productions – now in post production, the label has announced the rest of their upcoming production slate. And what do you think is going to attract all the attention?
In December of 2008, shortly after receiving a Golden Globe nomination for his turn as hirsute studio chief Les Grossman in ” Tropic Thunder ,” Tom Cruise revealed that he and the film’s writer/director/star Ben Stiller were kicking around ideas to do another project with the Grossman character. “Ben and I are always talking about what we can do with Les,” Cruise told MTV News at the time. “Do we do some viral video with Les?” We haven’t heard any movement on this possibility, so when we had a chance to speak with Stiller while he was promoting his upcoming indie, “Greenberg,” we put the question to him. Anything shaking with the Grossman project? “We’re playing around with ideas for a Les Grossman something,” Stiller said. “Maybe a movie, maybe some Internet stuff. I love that character and Tom, I think, is just insanely funny doing that guy. And I think he’s game for it too.” Is this just idle talk from Stiller? Or have their ideas for Grossman morphed from a few Internet shorts to an actual theatrical spin-off? We’ll remain cautiously optimistic and simply be happy knowing that Stiller and Cruise are still keeping alive the idea of resurrecting the classically pompous and foul-mouthed Grossman character a year and a half after “Tropic Thunder” opened.
Just over a week ago, we broke the news that George Lucas , who was displeased with director Anthony Hemingway’s work, would be directing some heavy reshoots for the upcoming Lucasfilm production of Red Tails , the story of the Tuskegee Airmen . Shortly after the story gained steam, a representative from Lucasfilm denied our report as “completely inaccurate.” But now, in the new print edition of Entertainment Weekly ( scan of the article here ) comes confirmation that Lucas is indeed directing reshoots on the film, but supposedly only because Hemingway is busy working on the HBO series “Treme” for David Simon instead. However, let’s think about this for a second. In their denial of our inital report, Lucasfilm said “additional shooting that is scheduled to take place was built into production before it began, as it is on all our films.” But if that’s the case, and these aren’t unexpected reshoots, then why weren’t they built into Hemingway’s responsibilities and at least penciled into his schedule? Apparently Lucas simply doesn’t want to wait for Hemingway to finish his work on “Treme” for these reshoots, but can anyone recall another time when an executive producer/financer for a film who happens to be a high profile filmmaker, takes over the reigns for something as simple as “scheduled” reshoots four months into their post-production time? A bit strange. This is all very fishy, and since we have more than a couple sources standing behind our story, we’re sticking to it. Especially because if this was all planned from the beginning and only a scheduling issue came up, then why have we heard from each of our different sources that producer Rick McCallum is seriously sweating and stressed out about Red Tails . Apparently Hemingway will get an opportunity to approve everything that Lucas is shooting, but what if he doesn’t like it? Is Hemingway going to do new reshoots? Sorry, but this just doesn’t jive and I can’t help but going with an old Lucas mainstay quote: “I have a bad feeling about this.” Discover More: Featured , Movie News , Opinions
While on a recent swing through South Korea, Rihanna told MTV Asia that she’s desperate to crack some jokes on the big screen. “I want to do comedy,” she said. “I enjoy watching funny movies and hanging out with funny people.” Sounds good to us. But there are many pitfalls on the way from a career as a recording artist to one as a genuine Hollywood funnywoman. If Rihanna wants to make us laugh, she’d be wise to follow these five simple steps. 1. Cameo As Yourself Start off slowly. Hook up with an established Hollywood player like Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler or Todd Phillips — just as Billy Idol, Eminem and Mike Tyson have — and set yourself up for the cameo everyone will be talking about. You’ll show that you don’t take yourself too seriously and can deliver a line or two. Getting that first laugh from an audience might be the most difficult step, and once you’re no longer a comedy virgin, you’ll be on your way to Step #2. 2. Follow Beyoncé’s Lead In 2002, Beyoncé joined up with Mike Myers at the height of his box office prowess for “Austin Powers in Goldmember.” She essentially played herself, albeit a version of herself with super high hair and a handgun, but that is exactly what Beyoncé needed at that point in her film career. The role didn’t require very much in terms of acting chops, exposed her to a wide theatrical audience and gave her the chance to get comfortable in front of the camera. Myers got the laughs and Beyoncé benefited from simply sharing the frame as he unleashed his zingers. Similarly, Rihanna should go in for a zany comedy where an emphasis on acting is secondary to laughs and where she doesn’t have to play a character too far outside her happy place. Possibilities include Apatow-approved people like Seth Rogen, a veteran funnylady like Maya Rudolph or Dave Chappelle in the midst of a too-long-delayed comeback. 3. But Avoid Jessica Simpson’s Missteps Just as Beyoncé made all the right moves, Jessica Simpson made all the wrong ones, and Rihanna should heed those mistakes. In the midst of Simpson’s MTV “Newlyweds” fame, the singer signed up for the iconic role of Daisy Duke in a big screen version of “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Not only did the role ask far too much of her in terms of comedic delivery, but she was predictably compared unfavorably to the woman who pioneered the part over two decades earlier. Simpson followed up that stinker with a plain Jane role in “Employee of the Month,” and her big screen career has never recovered. The lesson for Rihanna is to stay in her comfort zone and let an established star like Mike Myers do the heavy lifting. 4. Circle Back Around To Taylor Swift Now that she’s followed Beyoncé’s lead, Rihanna should take a page from Taylor Swift’s comedy playbook. That means hosting “Saturday Night Live” and taking a role in an ensemble comedy like “Valentine’s Day.” A couple good sketches is all you need to leave the general impression that you succeeded on “SNL,” and if Swift can pull of that feat, who can’t? The ensemble comedy will give Rihanna a chance to expand her range while not asking her to hold an entire film. But it’ll be one more step in the evolution. 5. Go Out On Top Okay, Rihanna now that you’ve conquered comedy, it’s time once again to follow Beyoncé’s example and bail. After her turn in the surprise hit “Pink Panther,” Beyoncé next appeared in “Dreamgirls” a critical hit that received eight Oscar nominations and cemented her status as a true Hollywood player. Rihanna could go drama, she could go action (another genre she said she wants to explore ), she could go horror. The key is just to go.
Last year it was rumored that the Peter Jackson -produced Guillermo del Toro -directed two-film adaptation of The Hobbit would be filmed in 3D. del Toro was quick to deny the claims , stating “we are not talking about 3D, we are NOT writing the screenplay for 3D right now- we are hiring my DoP Guillermo Navarro to shoot the film and we are not discussing 3D with him either or with WETA digital or WB or anyone else.” Guillermo noted at the time that “after Avatar the market may change and” they might “start discussing 3D down the line.” He promised that if a day should ever come around, he would inform the Lord of the Rings fan community on the TORN forums. Well, Avatar came and went, taking over $2.5 billion worldwide, and that day has come… del Toro wrote the following on TheOneRing.net forums: I wouldn’t read much on it just yet, but now, after all this time, after AVATAR doing the Box Office it did, we have had enquires from above about The Hobbit being in 3-D. No impositions or heavy leaning. Just enquires. Just fulfilling my promise to let you all know if discussions ever started. Cheers, GDT I’m assuming that MGM/Warner Bros will decide to shoot the film in 3D, or at very least, create the 3D in post production. Thanks to Andrea Francesco Berni for the tip. Tobey Maguire is not Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. Really! Peter Jackson Says Spielberg’s Tintin Has Finished Filming, Computer Animation Will Take Two Years, Updates on Hobbit Brian Cox to Play a Dwarf in The Hobbit? Tolkien Family and New Line Settle Lord of the Rings Lawsuit Guillermo del Toro Denies 3D/Casting Rumors, Names DP, and Talks Avatar Rumor: Peter Jackson To Direct New Middle Earth Film, Linking The Hobbit To Rings?
It’s a crazy, mixed up world and we are thankful for movies that offer proof. Slashfilm’s Weekend Weirdness examines such flicks, whether in the form of a new trailer for a provocative indie, a mini review or an interview. Man, how about the Birdemic craze that rollicked across the internet last week and continues to tremor in comedy-nerd circles? If VICE magazine had not interviewed the film’s “auteur” at length recently—a mysterious Silicon Valley grunt named James Nguyen —I would have called bullshit on the movie as a viral attempt to recreate the organic magic of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room . If any of our readers in L.A. attended the Cinefamily showing last night that was hosted by hardcore Wiseau converts, Tim and Eric , let us know how it went in the comments. A lot of sites have been hell-bent on spinning the film as a best-worst classic on par with Troll 2 only on the basis of the above trailer and a riotous press release. Having actually seen the film—recently picked up by Severin Films and being marketed by the youth-culture-centric Cornerstone— I still can’t shake a calculated feeling about the badness of the acting, the Room -like music and romantic subplot, the consistently choppy editing, and especially the [adult swim]-like aesthetic of the film’s computer-rendered explosions and murderous eagles. Either way, once the film’s birds invade in the second half and are fended off one-by-one with a machine gun in live-action scenes that evoke a VHS game made for the long-dead Action Max console, skepticism may be beside the point. Tonight is coincidentally the Season Cinco premiere of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! and Birdemic goes a long way to support the show’s current influence in pop culture. It’s increasingly difficult to tell what is faux-bad, what is ironically bad, and what is genuinely brain dead. Links: Official Website / VICE interview / Birdemic /Nguyen’s Twitter / Cinefamily Showing / Action Max After interviewing him in Ireland last year, I wasn’t sure what to think of actor James Franco . He likes to let everyone know he’s a voracious, beanied reader of philosophy tomes. He seems interested in continuing to blend his Pineapple Express stoner into his media persona. His sexuality is prone to much drunken speculation by movie-watching city dwellers—roles in Milk and the upcoming Howl keep ‘em guessing. And if thousands of bloggers failed to tattoo the FYI: on your skull, Franco previously joined the cast of a soap opera to complete a college project, which some critics felt “blurred the lines between vacant modern celeb and subversive artist.” If you say so. But today, NYC-based writer Drew Grant shared a kinda fucked, kinda hilarious rumor about the actor’s life-as-”performance” art that’s circulating at NYU and takes it up a notch. Link: Dogs Are Adorable Tumblr If you like cereal milk, Irish whiskey, girls over 99 pounds, and L.A. cracker-rap that’s fond of references to Paulie Shore ’s filmography and Pulp Fiction samples—hello again, 1998!—I recommend you pay attention to the Burger Boyz . Their first concept album about fast food-as-sexual innuendo, Where’s the Beef? , is now available for streaming online. Links: Where’s the Beef? Album / Burger Boyz on Twitter The number of VHS appreciators amongst cool kids and cooler dorks is growing by the day. I’m sure a writer from the New York Times or Youth Intelligence will eventually compare the trend to the rise of vinyl enthusiasts, leaving Blu-ray-philes and Jeff Katzenberg to argue VHS is for dying luddites and aging hipsters. But there’s a real case for the format when it comes to preserving a shit-ton of weirdness that didn’t cross over to DVD, or to cult torrent hang-outs like Cinemageddon. I’m a supporter of the notion that the horror genre is generally better suited to VCR consumption. Nine out of ten things that go bump in the night prefer their acne and bodily fluids not be so goddamn crystal clear. One of the more visible and agreeable VHS-head pundits of late is Tommy Swenson (no, not the bassist from The Replacements), who belongs to the Scarecrow Video posse in Seattle, Washington and has a clip project called Viva VHS that might be inspired by TV Carnage. I pretty much agree with all of his contrarian gospel in this article called “Why DVDs Can Suck It” at AV Club. Links: AV Club Article / Scarecrow Video / Viva VHS on YouTube With so much snow in New York of late, I’ve managed to binge on box sets and finally reach the current season of Big Love . The last episode really illustrates how much plot the show’s writers are stuffing into each of the nine eps this year compared to those from previous, longer seasons; the Mexico subplot and its goofy tone reminded me of recent, iffy detours taken by Weeds . On the bright side, Lois avoided a T.J. dirtnap and made like Voorhees. Link: Is Lois a style icon? In the first installment of Weekend Weirdness, we drooled over the trailer for an upcoming release from Sage Stallone’s Grindhouse Releasing entitled Gone With the Pope . Made in 1975 but left unfinished after the death of its well-quaffed director/star Duke Mitchell in ‘81, Pope was miraculously completed by GHR’s Bob Murawski , a film editor whose credits include The Hurt Locker and Drag Me to Hell . We recently received an email from these dudes and a new press release promoting the film’s world premiere on March 12 at Hollywood’s Egyptian Theatre. The poster above was included and so was this quote from Murawski… Of all the films I have been involved with, the one that I am most proud of is GONE WITH THE POPE,” Murawski said. “Duke Mitchell didn’t live to see this masterpiece finished. I am honored to be the person to finish it for him. Completing this movie was a 15-year labor of love. No expense or effort was spared in rescuing this classic from cinematic oblivion and finishing it with the utmost quality. Our beautiful new 35mm print stands as a testament to Duke Mitchell’s unique and explosively entertaining vision. Links: Grindhouse Releasing / Gone With the Pope Trailer / Egyptian Theatre For previous installments of Weekend Weirdness, here . Angelina Jolie Not Doing Cuaron’s Gravity After All? Meanwhile, Bret Easton Ellis Wrote The Golden Suicides With Her in Mind Danny Boyle Will Use Two Cinematographers for 127 Hours Early Buzz: Your Highness Toy Story 3 Trailer Easter Eggs Revealed Kate Mara and Amber Tamblyn Join Danny Boyle’s 127 Hours Weekend Weirdness: Fubar 2: Terry and Dean Head North, Daddy Longlegs, Party Down Season 2, “The Fallon Effect,” Selleck Waterfall Sandwich
Time was, companies knew how to keep track of their important customers. First, they set up loyalty programs: computerised systems that tracked the monetary value of everyone who shopped in their stores or flew on their planes or ate at their restaurant. When a high spender made a booking, the company was alerted to their status and they were treated accordingly. Frequent fliers got upgrades and champagne, frequent diners got a visit from the chef at their table – that kind of thing. Anything to ensure that the money kept flowing. And then there was the other way of measuring worth: celebrity. It was understood that if you were (in order of importance) in movies, or on television or a journalist with a significant audience then you would get special treatment too, often for free. Brad Pit doesn’t have to mingle with the plebs in the American Airlines lounge, Courtney Cox doesn’t wait in line at the bank, and the New York Times restaurant critic never has to wait a month for a table at Le Bernardin. If you’re a business, all of this makes perfect sense: high paying customers are the ones who keep you in business, and celebrities are the ones who guarantee positive mentions in the press. No one messes with Oprah. And for decades the system worked. Sure, the rest of us often found ourselves treated like crap but what were we going to do about it? Write a letter to the company’s complaints department? Write a furious blog post? Post a negative review on Yelp? Ooooh – scary! The fact is that, even with Google making it easier than ever to find negative reviews, most large companies couldn’t care less about individual complaints. The average customer simply didn’t have the value, the cachet or the audience to cause more than the tiniest PR blip. A $10 gift certificate and a form letter from the head of customer services was enough to make everything better. Frankly, I had absolutely no problem with this system. In fact it suited me just fine. For a start, I’m a journalist, so people are generally nice to me. But more importantly I’m a Brit and, as such, any reminder of our old class system – hereditary peers making the rules and peasants knowing their place – makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. None of your Thomas Jefferson ‘we hold these truths to be self-evident’ colonial bullshit. So can imagine how horrified I was when I picked up a newspaper and realised that something was starting to go very wrong with the established order of things. Two weeks ago, Kevin Smith – the film maker who brought the world Clerks, Chasing Amy and the character of Silent Bob – was flying from Oakland to Burbank on Southwest Airlines. Smith, as fans will know, is a big guy to the point where he frequently books two seats when he flies. On this occasion though, there was only one seat available on his flight, so he booked that. Which is where the problems started. Despite having checked Smith in and allowed him to board, the Southwest flight crew suddenly decided – just before takeoff – that he was (in his words) ‘too fat to fly’. In front of hundreds of passengers they escorted him off the flight. None of the crew realised he was a celebrity – he’s really only famous to stoners and people who have watched Die Hard 4 – so to them he was just a fat dude who needed to be dealt with. In response to his treatment, Smith did what you’d do, and what I’d do: he Tweeted about it. Not once, but a billion times. Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated? Wanna tell me I’m too wide for the sky? Totally cool. But fair warning, folks: IF YOU LOOK LIKE ME, YOU MAY BE EJECTED FROM @SOUTHWESTAIR. So, @SouthwestAir, go fuck yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?). I was..wrongly ejected from the flight Thank God I don’t..embarrass easily (bless you, JERSEY GIRL training). But I don’t sulk off either: so everyday, some new fuck-you Tweets for @SouthwestAir. …and on and on, to his 1.6m + Twitter followers , many of whom of course retweeted each and every message. But it didn’t stop there: before long, a host of major news sources had picked up the story – including many who would never normally write about a cult film maker getting bumped from a flight. The LA Times headline summed up the angle most of them took: Kevin Smith’s Southwest Airlines incident sets Web all a-Twitter . And that’s when I realised something interesting, and terrifying: Smith’s involvement wasn’t the reason the story was deemed newsworthy; Twitter’s was. Don’t believe me? The following week, across the pond and at the other end of the follower spectrum, my friend Robert Loch, founder of the Yes And Club , started his own Twitter fight. His target: One Alfred Place – a members’ club in London that offers work space for entrepreneurs. The club has recently brought in a new CEO to revitalise its fortunes and her first act was to start axing members who were using facilities too frequently. One of those members happened to mention to her friend Robert that she’d been booted, prompting him to go into battle on her behalf – writing a scathing blog post about the club and tweeting the URL… My thoughts on One Alfred Place’s appalling treatment of its members. http://tinyurl.com/yds97lm Robert only has a little over 1300 followers , but – as with Kevin Smith’s Southwest embarrassment – the story struck a nerve with enough of them (me included) that we began to retweet it. As did people who saw our retweets, and people who saw those, and so on. By the end of the day, Robert’s tweet had spread far enough that he was contacted by reporters from most of London’s major business publications, all wanting details on the “Twitter revolt” that he;d sparked. Again, it didn’t matter that Robert wasn’t himself particularly newsworthy: Twitter was the angle that interested them. You don’t have to look far for dozens more examples of this journalistic trend. Just type “twitter sparks…” (no quotes) into Google News and you’ll find dozens of headlines where Twitter’s involvement in an otherwise mundane corporate failing has propelled it to the pages of the mainstream media. A random, recent example from those results: “ Artist sparks Twitter campaign against Paperchase over disputed design ” – another UK-based story, this time concerning ‘Hidden Eloise’ an artist who noticed that the upscale stationery company ‘Paperchase’ had apparently ripped off one of her designs. She took her fight to her 1,000+ followers and before long the story had been retweeted enough times to become a trending topic. The Guardian quickly picked up the story and forced Paperchase into issuing an embarrassed apology to the artist, and taking steps to make things better. Two years ago, none of this would have been news. A cult film maker was kicked off a flight? So? What was he going to do? Make a film called ‘Jay and Silent Bob hate Southwest airlines’? (Admittedly that would still have been better than Jersey Girl). An entrepreneur’s got quietly kicked out of a members’ club to make way for more profitable clients? Tough shit: that one’s not even newsworthy enough for the most desperate trade magazine. A little known designer gets ripped off by a gigantic retail chain? Boo hoo. Tell it to someone who cares. Without a major celebrity angle, there was little to no chance of the media picking up a run-of-the-mill intellectual property complaint and forcing the company into action. But today it doesn’t matter who you are or how many fans you have. You can have 1.6m like Kevin Smith or you can have 1000 like Hidden Eloise . All that matters is that a) you have a story that tweaks people’s ‘David vs Goliath’ nerve and that b) you get enough people retweeting it that the mainstream press can paint it as a ‘ Twitter campaign ‘. In the past few months Twitter has been promoted daily on network news shows, it’s been name-checked by Hollywood A-Listers – hell, it was even mentioned in Dan Brown’s latest book; wedged in right at the end to keep da kids interested. The result: Twitter itself has become an A-list celebrity. And like with any A-list celebrity, any story that even tangentially involves it is automatically newsworthy. This presents an enormous problem for companies. If Twitter campaigns are inherently newsworthy then anyone with a Twitter account and a gripe against you has the potential to become your biggest global PR nightmare. Pissing off Joe Twitter User is just as dumb, from a PR point of view, as upsetting Will Smith or Donald Trump. Sure, I can hear the response from CEOs and heads of PR. “Oh, it’s ok, we’re on Twitter already – if anyone complains we reply to them straight away. We have an intern dedicated to it.” Yeah. No. Southwest Airlines is on Twitter , One Alfred Place is on Twitter – even Paperchase finally dragged itself on to the bandwagon a couple of weeks ago. The problem is, official responses, even if accompanied by some kind of grand gesture of apology, do little to quell a Twitter storm once it has started. The phenomenon of mass retweeting means that – to paraphrase Churchill – a complaint makes it half way around the world before the official company response has time to put its pants on. Or as the CEO of Paperchase put it to the Telegraph : “I am sure it can be beneficial but if you get an untruth (on it) it can be very dangerous.” Really there’s only one answer – and it’s one that strikes at the very heart of the established hierarchy of customer importance. Companies are going to have to start treating every single customer like a VIP. Actually, no, it’s worse than that – consider the Hidden Eloise example; she wasn’t a customer, but just a humble designer. Companies are going to have to start treating every single person in the world like a VIP. In all areas of their business they’re going to have to make sure they’re purer than pure; they’re going to have to examine every one of their processes to ensure that no one is getting screwed over. Moreover, they’re going to have to treat every complaint like it’s the most important complaint they’ve ever received, lest the complainer take their fight to Twitter. In other words, if you’re going to kick someone off a plane, you had better be sure you’re kicking them straight into the VIP lounge with a huge gift certificate and possibly even a hot stone massage. Because all of those things are cheaper than cleaning up the mess afterwards. Of course, as a Brit, this horrifies me. I mean, the idea that everyone, regardless of their wealth or fame, should be treated equally by companies just smells a bit… well, French. Quelle horreur! But as a customer, I have to admit that it’s about bloody time.