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My big brain knows that these are wholesome pictures of Salma Hayek reading to children or something at some press conference for Nickelodeon’s ‘Dora The Explorer’ 10th Anniversary , but all my little brain sees are those big fat MILF boobies. Is that wrong? Am I a terrible person for this? I didn’t think so, look at those beautiful things, I would like to spend ten years doing some exploring of my own… In her boobs. In case you didn’t figure that out. more pictures of Salma Hayek here

Jessica Alba may think she’s very clever, pushing up her hipster glasses up with her middle finger like that, but she’s not fooling anyone and she’s more than a little rude. Actually, I don’t really give a crap, I’d like her to do to me exactly what she’s implying with this gesture. I won’t hold my breath. It’s funny because the girls down at the strip club do exactly the same thing when they dance for me… But believe me, what they’re pushing around I wouldn’t want anywhere near my face. more pictures of Jessica Alba here

This is what I like to see, Kim Kardashian making sexy faces while spraying her sweet cleavage with cheap perfume. I don’t really care about the perfume, I just like the tightly wrapped boobies she’s sporting. It’s too bad that Kim’s big ass gets all the attention because her front meat is quite enjoyable. Now if someone could replace that crappy perfume bottle with a water pistol filled with baby oil we’d be in business. more pictures of Kim Kardashian here

It’s no secret that I love big fat boobies, so when I get pictures like this featuring Mariah Carey flashing some of the most impressive cleavage I’ve seen since my bar mitzvah days, I’m all over it. Mariah isn’t exactly a small woman, so seeing her stuffed tightly into her little dress shouldn’t be a good sight, but somehow those massive boobs make everything alright. Come on, those things are pretty damn impressive. Ancient man would sacrifice virgins to these things. Enjoy. more pictures of Mariah Careyhere

Finally some pictures of Avril Lavigne dressed as an adult. You see what can happen when you put on a dress? Good things can happen, that’s what. Here she is at the London premiere of ‘Alice In Wonderland’ the other night looking absolutely hotter than a whore’s crotch. I’m glad it was a rainy night because I especially like that she’s all wet and glistening. I’m going to pretend that it’s baby oil not water and she just got back from an important lady’s only oil wrestling match…. Evening gown edition. So hot. more pictures of Avril Lavigne here

Minka Kelly is doing it for me these days, I’m starting to get that warm fuzzy feeling deep in my pants and I don’t know what to do about it. This is so unexpected, normally this feeling is reserved for chicks with big blond hairdos and even bigger fake boobies. Here she is at some red carpet event looking almost too gorgeous to handle. That’s not true, I’m sure I could handle her just fine. I don’t think it will take very long. more pictures of Minka Kelly here

I make fun of a lot of celebrity chicks for not wearing dresses that show off their cleavage, that’s because I like boobs and think they should be shown off, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. Here’s the gorgeous Anne Hathaway on the red carpet the other day making a valiant attempt at showing off some cleavage for me and my readers. Ummm… Those little things are definitely working hard, and I for one am rooting for them, but I’m not seeing it. Maybe if I squint? Still nothing. I think she’s hot regardless. Keep up the good work. more pictures of Anne Hathaway here

I’ve actually watched a few episodes of the Courtney Cox sitcom Cougartown and I kinda like it, not because it’s funny, but because Ms Cox seems to spend a lot of time running around chasing boys in tight little outfits or flashing the neighbors in her bikini . Hot. I want to move to this mysterious Cougartown , it seems to be filled with a lot of good looking promiscuous women. And I happen to love older promiscuous women. Notice how I didn’t say good looking, I live in my mother’s basement, at this point I just want to hump. more pictures of Courtney Cox here

It seems that Brooke Burke’s scarf isn’t doing it’s job because it looks like she may be a little chilly out in her tank top the other day on her way to the hair salon. I can tell because of one very prominent goose-bump. I’m not complaining, I think it’s a good look and feel that more women should hit the streets wearing scarves that really make their nipples pop. more pictures of Brooke Burke here

Alright, the weekend is here, I can finally leave my mother’s basement and go for some drinks, but before I do I thought I’d share some pictures of Candice Swanepoel in various stages of undress. Supermodels are awesome. I think government scientist should start cloning these girls, the world would be a better place with more supermodels walking the streets. Crime would be down because everyone would be too happy snuggling on the couch watching HGTV with their supermodel girlfriends. Sign me up. more pictures of Candice Swanepoel here